Evil Hate Cow # 1 (perch_and_creep) wrote in dolltongue,
Evil Hate Cow # 1
perch_and_creep
dolltongue

  • Mood:

wyzeguy

author: wyzeguy
disclaimer: marvel owns the characters not wyze, not me, not you either!
fandom: x-men
e-mail: feedback for wyze
website/homepage: wyzeworld ff.net account, please read and review other fics





Title: The ABCs of Roomies

Author: Wyzeguy

Email: Wyzeguy79@hotmail.com

Summary: Rogue walks in on Jubilee and Kitty during an...'intense' moment.

Rating: R (mentions of sex between consenting females)

Universe: Movieverse

Pairing: Jubilee/Kitty (Rogue POV)

Archive: Yep, to all who ask.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in here.

Marvel does, and I really hope they don't attack my non-profitting butt for this.

Notes: This is my first ABC fic, so I apologize in advance if it bites. An ABC fic is a short story in which the first letter of every sentence is a successive letter of the alphabet. If the first sentence of the story starts with an A, then the next sentence must start with B, and so on until the last sentence begins with Z. For this fic, I started with I, then went through the alphabet until I got to H. It's not as easy as it sounds.

THE ABCS OF ROOMIES

Wyzeguy

Incredible. Just completely unbelievable. Kitty and Jubilee were in bed together! Lips and bodies together, hands everywhere, legs intertwined. Man, they were downright indignant when I walked in on them. Not my fault they left the door unlocked; it's my room too, after all. On the other hand, if somebody walked in on me gettin' hot and heavy with someone I'd be a little...what's the word? Perturbed, I guess.

Quit thinkin' about it, Marie. Really, no need to get all weirded out over your best friends makin' out. Still, it was kind of interesting to watch. Two girls doin' it ain't exactly something I was used to seein', havin' spent most of my life in Meridian. Used to be, I thought same-sex relationships were a one-way ticket to hell. Views like that were common in my church-goin' town, so I had to adjust my thinking once I got settled into mansion life with just about every kind of classmate under the sun.

"Welcome to Mutant High," Bobby told me when I attended my first class, almost a year ago. Xavier's school has certainly been an eye-opener for me. You wouldn't believe the kind of things I've seen here, and that's not even takin' into account the mutant powers everybody has. Zappin' people with energy blasts, blowin' stuff up, settin' things on fire, liftin' heavy stuff with brainpower? All that I've gotten used to, believe it or not.

But my two best friends bein' in love that way? Can't believe it, but I might as well get used to it. Don't discriminate based on race, religion, creed, disability, national origin, or sexual orientation, the charter on the wall says. Easy for me, actually, since I've always had an open mind to begin with. Far be it from me to tell Jubes and The Hacker who they can and can't date.

Great, so that leaves one last question: How the heck do I deal with what I felt while watchin' those two?




Title: Yo Quiero

Author: Wyzeguy

Disclaimer: Marvel owns 'em...which is good, because Marvel's good at character revivals.
Rating: PG (character death, bizarre humor)
Universe: Ultimate X-Men
Feedback: Fork it over, Bucko!
Archive: Uh huh. Just tell me where.
Summary: "They died instantly..."
Notes: This is a response to a fan fiction challenge on the X-Fiction email list, challenging writers to write an X-Men fanfic beginning with the sentence, "They died instantly." Since no restrictions were given on length and tone, I came up with this (and had to apologize to a few people afterward). This story takes place following the events in Ultimate X-Men #12, where Rogue and Juggernaut join the Brotherhood of Mutants.
YO QUIERO
Wyzeguy
They died instantly.
Frederick J. Dukes stared at the fallen, asphyxiated bodies of his fellow Brotherhood members. Pietro, Wanda, Mort, Rogue, Cain, and Jason. They were his friends. And now they were dead. Because of him.
He looked down at the greasy paper that remained of his Taco Bell chalupa, and clenched it in his chubby fists.
His heart heavy, he whispered, "but it was just a little gas...."
END

Title: A Man's Man

Author: Wyzeguy

Email: Wyzeguy79@yahoo.com

Summary: He should have seen it coming...

Rating: PG

Warning: Run while you have the chance!

Archive: Uh huh. Ask first.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.

Marvel, who does, might be traumatized by this fic.

Notes: This is a response to Khaki's challenge, which

called for writers to post short stories (regardless

of content or mood) beginning with the sentence, "He

should have seen it coming." Once again, my twisted

mind seized the opportunity.



A MAN'S MAN

Wyzeguy

He should have seen it coming.

That gruff demeanor, the affinity for leather clothing and disdain for shaving should have all been a dead giveaway. Not all of that by itself, but rather the forcefulness by which the image was maintained.

He should have known it was just that: an act.

Now, Scott Summers stood in the bathroom, silent and slackjawed at he sight before him. Words just

couldn't do this justice.

Logan turned from the mirror after applying his lipstick, locked eyes with Scott, and gestured idly to

the lethally red ankle-length dress and black high-heels he wore. "So? C'mon, Summers, answer me:

does this dress make my butt look big or not?"

END

E-Mail: Wyzeguy79@yahoo.com

Summary: Deadpool dispenses harsh justice on his

latest victim.

Rating: R (character death, violence)

Feedback & Archive: Let me know how I did with this,

and if you want to archive, ask.

Disclaimer: I don't own Deadpool. Marvel does.

Notes: This is a response to Khaki's opening sentence challenge: "His blood dripped from the counter like

spilled milk." This was a decidedly tougher challenge than the previous two, but I think it worked. This was also my first-ever attempt at writing Deadpool, so I hope I didn't screw up.

PAYBACK

Wyzeguy

His blood dripped from the counter like spilled milk. His arm hung lifelessly, swinging slightly as he lies

buried face-first in the kitchen sink. Three bullet holes decorated the back of his head. A katana stood

straight up from his back like a victorious mountain climber's flag.

The assassin known as Deadpool admired his handiwork, pulling out the sword and gazing at the freshly-slain victim. "Shame on you for not having a garbage disposal," he scolded the corpse. "I could've had so

much more fun with your face. Not that I didn't have fun, 'cause it's always hilarious when people scream

like a girl and run. And you? Well, you must've been a schoolgirl or Michael Jackson in a former life, 'cause your screaming voice was worthy of a B-movie. You should've been in a choir, y'know that?"

Wade Wilson continued rambling for some time. He cleaned the blood off his blade with a damp cloth,

then resheathed the katana. The assassin turned toward the door, casting one last look at his target.

"Put ME into a slashfic, will ya...? And with Sabretooth, no less...that's just wrong..."

Title: Road Trippage Author: Wyzeguy E-mail: Wyzeguy79@yahoo.com Universe: Movieverse Rating: Somewhere between PG-13 and R, I guess. Pairing: Hee hee. You'll see. Warnings: Adult situations, deliberate squick-point Notes: This is in a similar vein as my other responses to an opening sentence challenge, in that it's short and as humorously bizarre as I can make it. A specific fanfic writer will be mentioned herein, and I hope she doesn't kill me for this. Dedications: to Tarch for throwing out the sentence, and to...heh. I've said too much already.

ROAD TRIPPAGE Wyzeguy

The road from New York City to Salem Center had never seemed this long before.

Logan reflected on this as he scratched the hairs on the back of his neck as he drove. He then turned up the volume on the radio -- playing a Led Zeppelin song -- to drown out the noises coming from the back seat. He hated even being a party to this, but he was elected chauffer, and there was no getting out of it now.

Still, that didn't mean he had to enjoy it. Turning to the back seat briefly, she shouted, "hey! Will you two quit makin' out in the back seat!"

Scott Summers and Kitty Pryde stopped what they were doing and glanced back at Logan. "Just drive," Scott replied, then went back to nibbling on his female student's neck while his hands continued to unbutton her blouse. Kitty made pleasant noises and tugged at Mr. Summers' sweater.

Logan grew even more annoyed. "Dammit! Why the hell are you two doing that, anyway?"

Kitty shrugged and grinned, her expression somewhere between sweet and devilish. "We're trying to squick out Min!"

Logan quirked an eyebrow as he watched them in the rearview mirror. "Minisinoo, right?"

"Yeah. It was ... oooh! It was Wyze's idea. He's the writer, y'know."

Logan shook his head and watched as the fourth wall lay broken in the middle of the highway some distance back. A few other cars ran over it. He glanced back up at the rearview mirror, and saw Scott toss Kitty's blouse aside and work on her bra. "So what if this bright idea doesn't work?"

Scott unhooked the bra with nimble fingers. "Well, we could always use 'said-bookisms'," he smirked.

FIN

(The Minisinoo mentioned here is a fanfic author and friend of mine. Kudos to her for being cool with this.)

Title: Dare to be a Virgin
Author: Wyzeguy
E-Mail: Wyzeguy79@yahoo.com
Summary: The X-Men engage in a not-so innocent game of Truth-or-Dare
Universe: Ultimate X-Men
Rating: PG-13
Feedback & Archive: Let me know if you liked this, and if you're going to achive it somewhere. I'll let ya.
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters herein, nor am I making money.
Warnings: Semi-adult discussion between people in their late teens.
Notes: This is a response to Eiluned's 50-word challenge to come up with a story starting with, "Holy shit, you're a virgin." In exactly 50 words (not counting articles like "a" and "the"), no less. Not easy to do, but fun to write.


DARE TO BE A VIRGIN
Wyzeguy

"Holy shit, you're a virgin." Snickering erupts from the outburst.

Scott rolls his eyes behind ruby quartz. "Yeah, Storm; big deal. You asked. Now, my turn: Truth or Dare?"

Ororo frowns, glancing at the other X-Men. "Like I'm gonna spill my guts. Dare."

Scott grins, anticipating that. "Excellent. I dare you to cut your hair into a mohawk."

"What?!"

Title: First Timers
Author: Wyzeguy
E-Mail: Wyzeguy79@yahoo.com
Summary: An unlikely couple prepares to go all the way.
Universe: X-Men Evolution Rating: R
Feedback: By all means. Feedback is the only compensation I get for this.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Marvel does. I think I'm going to cry.
Warnings: Adult subject matter for the first one. Notes: This is a response to Eiluned's 50-word challenge starting with the phrase, "I've never done this before."

FIRST TIMERS
Wyzeguy


"I've never done this before." Jean Grey bit her lip nervously, looking up as she lay on the bed.

"Me neither," Fred Dukes whispered as he finished sliding her pink panties down her long legs. He prepared to enter her. "I'll try to be gentle."

Scott Summers woke up screaming.

Title: Like the Deserts Miss the Rain
Author: Wyzeguy
E-Mail: Wyzeguy79@yahoo.com
Summary: Long distance relationships are redefined over the Internet.
Universe: X-Men Evolution
Rating: G
Feedback: By all means. Feedback is the only compensation I get for this.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. Marvel does. I think I'm going to cry.
Warnings: None. Notes: This is a response to Eiluned's 50-word challenge starting with the phrase, "I miss you."


LIKE THE DESERTS MISS THE RAIN
Wyzeguy


"I miss you."

"I miss you more." Followed by a colon and a capital X, signifying an Internet kiss.

His fingers continued typing. "I love you."

"I love you more" was her response.

"No way."

"Yes way."

"Kurt, Kitty, for the love of . . ." Logan complained as he looked over his young students' shoulders. "You're sittin' right next to each other!"

Titles: Bumper to Bumper
Author: Wyzeguy
E-Mail: Wyzeguy79@y...
Summary: Fun with bumper stickers.
Rating: PG
Universe: Movieverse
Disclaimer: Marvel owns the characters, while all I
got was this stupid t-shirt.
Feedback and Archive: Yes, to both.
Warnings: None, except you might want to rethink
drinking anything while reading this.
Notes: Based on another of Eiluned's 50-word
challenges, beginning with "Kinky is using a feather.
Perverted is using the whole chicken."



BUMPER TO BUMPER
Wyzeguy

"'Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the
whole chicken.'"

"'Discourage imbreeding: ban country music.'"

"'Horn broken; watch for finger.'"

"'Comedians do it standing up.'"

"Jubilee, John . . . are you done quoting bumper
stickers to each other? I am trying to teach a class
here."

"Sorry, Miss Monroe," in unison.

Ororo turned back to the board and muttered a bumper
sticker quote about reinstating the death penalty.

Titles: Handiwork
Author: Wyzeguy
E-Mail: Wyzeguy79@y...
Summary: Handiwork: Taking out a Sentinel the creative way.
Rating: PG
Universe: Comicverse
Disclaimer: Marvel owns the characters, while all I
got was this stupid t-shirt.
Feedback and Archive: Yes, to both.
Warnings: None, except you might want to rethink
drinking anything while reading these.
Notes: Based on another of Eiluned's 50-word
challenges, beginning with "Wow,
that's a big one."



HANDIWORK
Wyzeguy

"Wow, that's a big one."

Cyclops nodded at Iceman's observation as he studied
the towering Sentinel, the last and largest in a squad
of twenty. "Yeah, but it's not hard to take down."

A high-impact optic blast sent the robot to the
pavement. Cyclops adjusted his beam to carve
low-impact lines into it.

"Now what are you doing?" Jean asked, walking to them
while favoring her injured left shoulder.

"Signing my work."

Title: Tourist Trap
Author: Wyzeguy
E-Mail: Wyzeguy79@y...
Universe: Exiles
Pairing: Blink/Mimic
Rating: PG
Feedback an' Archive: If you love it, and/or you want to archive it,
let me know. I'm dyin' to hear from you.
Disclaimer: Marvel owns every last character. I own zilch, but
luckily no money is being made.
Warnings: Uh, well, there's flirting and that's about it.
Notes: This story is a response to Eiluned's third 50-word
challenge, which pitched the sentence, "If you'd stop wiggling, I
wouldn't have this problem."
Dedication: To perch_and_creep, the cutest muse this side of any side.



TOURIST TRAP
Wyzeguy

"If you'd stop wiggling, I wouldn't have this problem."

"I can't help it," Clarice Ferguson stated, "I'm just too excited.
I've never seen one before. It's so cute."

"Cute?" Calvin Rankin queried with a raised blond eyebrow at his
purple girlfriend's antics.

"Yes. I just want to give it a big hug and stroke it and sing to
it. Why? Does that make me weird?"

"No, that makes you a tourist. It's just a cow, Blink."

Title: Fashion Show
Author: Wyzeguy
E-Mail: Wyzeguy79@y...
Universe: X-Men Comicverse
Pairing: Wolverine/Storm
Rating: PG
Feedback an' Archive: If you love it, and/or you want to archive it,
let me know. I'm dyin' to hear from you.
Disclaimer: Marvel owns every last character. I own zilch, but
luckily no money is being made.
Warnings: Uh, well, there's flirting and that's about it.
Notes: These stories are responses to Eiluned's third 50-word
challenge, which pitched the sentence, "You look damn good in that dress".
Dedication: To perch_and_creep, the cutest muse this side of any side.



FASHION SHOW
Wyzeguy

"You look damn good in that dress."

"You like it?" Ororo asked, twisting her hips to cause her black silk
dress to spin around her legs for the benefit of Logan's eyes.

His eyes gazed across her every curve. "Yeah . . . but I've seen all
kinds of dresses, darlin'. I've only seen one o' you."

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "And one is enough?"

Their lips met. "One's all I need, darlin'."

Titles: Galloping Gourmet
Author: Wyzeguy
E-Mail: Wyzeguy79@y...
Universe: Generation X comicverse
Pairings: Jubilee/Synch
Rating: PG
Feedback an' Archive: If you love it, and/or you want to archive it,
let me know. I'm dyin' to hear from you.
Disclaimer: Marvel owns every last character. I own zilch, but
luckily no money is being made.
Warnings: Uh, well, there's flirting and that's about it.
Notes: This is a response to Eiluned's third 50-word
challenge, "I'm never eating that again." (In case you're wondering by now, Eil tossed out three sentences as a time. I answered all three.)
Dedication: To perch_and_creep, the cutest muse this side of any side.



GALLOPING GOURMET
Wyze

"I'm never eating that again."

Jubilee whapped Everett on the head with a couch pillow. "Oh, quit
whining, ya wussy. It wasn't that bad, was it?"

"Well . . . it had its moments."

Jubilee stared him right in the face. "Fine, I'm never cooking for
you again." She stuck her tongue out.

He caught her tongue and sucked on it, and she forgot the
conversation entirely.

Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic
    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments